Lose control

okay wtf.

zonked out.


That's my new year for you.


ah 2009.

seriously a helluva year.

if i had to sum up this year in a few sentences, like how 2008 was the year where music and the many experiences was really the mainfocus, while coping along with studies, this year was really coming to face with the fact that i'm taking alvls this year and everything else take's backseat. emotional issues as well, lots of it. and the reality of having to put aside the passion for music for the sake of my studies.

academics wise, this was the year where results really plummet for the first half of the year, and i really had to slowly pick my way back up. the serious fear of possibly failing my maths come prelims really made me think deeply of how much one really needs to like the subject to do well. it's really no secret to anyone how much i dislike math and all. but that period of time, madness.

where music is concerned, i think the first half of the year was really great and all, taking part in stuff like AYG and really doing some serious pieces, playing full symphonies with the orchestra as a timpanist. Stuff like hindemeth, 1812 overture, brahms and beethoven symphonies, stuff that i will truly remember years to come. Percussion ensemble woodstock also really made me look through my fundementals and all. in Pyouth, it was also the year where i really started to talk to people which werent from my own section, and really mix around (okay not really, but at least more then the previous year) and also the notion of playing for a heavy concert after only about 4rehs and stuff.. most importantly, it was the year that i played with mj for syf. i would really never forget how we were so familiar with the song that we can sing the whole song out with it's individual parts. really. was also the year where i bonded really close with the band peeps, how we would camp at the study benches everyday after school and when alvl study break came to study from morning till night. day after day. Tough they were, but this moments were the very times that bonded us even more closely together

okay i'm going out to dinner.

will update again. i'm not done yet.. there's seriously

alot.

/updated/

yes i know i said there's alot more. but thinking it thru, some stuff really aint meant to be put down here, more like keeping it all in the head. basically as how i quote from one of my friend's blog: I thought 2009 was the year I grew up the most of all the years I have lived.

ironic it may sound, comparing a single year over the past 17 years, but it all really rings true.

really struggling to cope with music and school, keeping in touch with new friends and old, coming to face with stuff that i have never truly encountered, conflicting thoughts plaguing my mind on issues on almost a daily basis. raging hormones, much. (and dude i'm already 18 i cant believe it) experiencing the realities of death, the loss of someone i can never truly say i have wholly appreciated

yet, new experiences abound, reaching levels of trust with people i know i can truly rely upon, cherishing moments with people who have indeed made an impact on my life, and the little nuggets of love, be it a love for friends, your family, and others.

2009 has indeed been a helluva year.

2010? i truly don't know what is to come.

Resolutions?

Let me get back to you on that.

and to all who have made an impact on me whatsoever in 2009, every single one of you, every single one of you who have made an impact, big or small, you know who you people are, thank you for everything.

Thank you for shaping my 2009 experience. thankyou so much.