I shouldnt even be doing this. I should be studying. But why ain I getting on with it? Beginning is the toughest man. I can seem to start doing my work. What to do? hai...

Anyway, had a really interesting webchat with w.t last night.. really got us thinking ( me definitely, not sure bout her) about what to do with our futures. ( dun get it wrong. as in our individual futures... o.O)

Just wondering.. where will I b 10yrs from now? Which career path should I take. We all should start thinking bout this now. we are already like 16-18 already? young adults they say... They ARE right.. we have to decide. is studying even what i should be doing now? OR should i be somewhere right now?

Really confused..

Anyway, dring the conversation with her, it really struck me how motivated she is.

W.T says:
I really want to try and see if I really work hard, how well I can do. ( may not b exact words)

wow, thats one motivated spirit.. since im here in M..J.. already, might as well be studying away, but i just cant seem to get motivated... same when I was in Olvl... is dere lyk some problem with me.???

havent been given my all.. I know it..

People see me in school working hard.. listening during lectures.. and they call me mugger and all that..

But only I know that I ain giving my all.. I ain working hard enough.. Most of the time what I hear comes out from the other end... My test results... I may be relatively better than some.. But i still feel disappointed.. I KNOW i can do better. Not that Im being proud or anything, but I just knew.. Really disappointed...

I f this gonna go on.. Im really in deep shit.. its not only the studies man.. its the life im gonna lead... no motivation, no hard work.. Even stuff that ain studying, lyk music... sure i have the ambition, I have the want to have it. But do i have the perserverence to strive for it... Its really in burst and sparks... How would I even succeed if this was the case...

I need to change. Period.