breakthrough

the past few wks from prior the march block tests have been pretty much an emotional rollercoaster ride for me in case you guys havent realised. with things just happening that were beyong my control, different emotions swirling within me and threatening to engulf me at any one time.

i tried facing them, shelving them aside, addressing them, avoiding them, challenge them, ignore them. and it was just there.

of the emotions i felt with the many things in life going on : Studies, Music, Friends, Love, and some other issues.


~

i'm glad i have reached a point of peace though. of a certain sense of tranquility today.

it all happened today. of a certain lecture that led me to reflect on the state of my studies. how i resolved to read up myself on the topic instead of being bound by the pace of the lecture. and how i realised i ought to do the same with the restrictions i had placed upon myself. of chucking away all those excuses about how i'm tired and i have no time and start properly doing something.

followed by a certain lesson, that led me to think abt my recent results, of how i could change it, if only i started to go back to being truly active instead of that superficially engaging idiot i had been.

of the sudden impulse to head down to the library to borrow certain books that were of topics that i was once very interested about. of the sense to actually improve my life.

of the little discourse with someone on the way to bandrm after school, that led me to openly accept who i truly am, and of the consuming dedication i felt growing towards my committments.

of a moment of self reflection after a certain encounter to let things be. of how i once launched into a diatribe over a simple title of "Let It Be" when the truth is that there are somethings that you truly have to just let it be, instead of insisting on fighting against the flow.

of getting of the bus in time for my exchange bus to come at that precise moment. of realising the little joyful things in life that i have recently failed to notice and appreciate.

of the rehearsal that spurred me into working harder, and of achieving greater heights. to grow and to mature musically, and also as a person. and of the unfailing trust that he had of me, and how i am determined to prove him right.

of my dad, waiting to fetch me home today, of the strong silent support that my family had for me, that i failed to truly appreciate

of my friends, whom had provided me with encouragement, support, and concern at any one time throughout my various messed up phases this few weeks.

and @.

~

how could i have ever been sad in the first place?

time to pick up the pieces i carelessly dropped.

and for once properly taking up the challenges that i'm facing, something i havent done since the beginning of the year.

thankyou for witnessing that change within me.

mark my words.