A wonderful poem
A wonderful poem made by my dear friend Ariel. ( its was written to accompany the song he composed )
click to download song
(PLAY THE SONG WHEN U READ THE POEM)
I
no sooner have i thought more lucidly and soberly
than i effect my ingress with equanimity
into the moonlit charnel night
the waning moon now hangs solemnly in solitary
amid a stark void of pure tenebrous emptiness
and nothing else, save fate's cosmic expanse of might
in contrast to the serene dead of night
hosting its nightly complement of trysts of couples
both too moving, and stiflingly enviable a sight
of which gleams shed condolently over the abjectly analogous
insufferably lonely mortal heart longing for its wholeness
and the ever-pining, ill fate, tragedy and mourning
in grief from greater depths of my heart and in essence
of covenant consecrated to sorrowing of eternal sustenance
like geysering tears from a democritus' spring
II
at length losing proximity but patience through the incessant gloaming
whence harkening the clamouring pyre grievously
wherewith the eternally missed departs the morbid decay beneath her dignity
beyond uttered goodbyes
to subsist on one promise to face the rest of life incomplete obligatorily yet conceptually i mustered
but with repose for im assured
that she left, laid awake in perpetuity neath the glass at last
enshrouded in peace and acceptance within her coffin chamber
herein fraught with piquant blossoms smothering her little frame
all dressed up ere the approach to, it is hoped, the better place
but alas, lo, that imperfection and gloominess of an emptiness which ponderously abided in her ever so limpid eyes!
which were once set with vivace aflame
and with firmness i discharge against her bidding soon
my wrist now slit and blood bestrewn
nothing will stand in the way of my appetency to meet her again, on the moon!
()(*(&^&%^&$&^$^#&^*^$%&*%&*%^&%^$*%^&^%
A little analysis on the part of me:
Notice the lack of capitals in the poem. This is to indicate more flow throughout the entire poem. Could also be to bring out the apparent numbness or immense sadness and despondency of the author.
On the wide range of vocabulary used: lo and behold posh linguistic exhibitionism! [ quote from ariel ;) ]
click to download song
(PLAY THE SONG WHEN U READ THE POEM)
I
no sooner have i thought more lucidly and soberly
than i effect my ingress with equanimity
into the moonlit charnel night
the waning moon now hangs solemnly in solitary
amid a stark void of pure tenebrous emptiness
and nothing else, save fate's cosmic expanse of might
in contrast to the serene dead of night
hosting its nightly complement of trysts of couples
both too moving, and stiflingly enviable a sight
of which gleams shed condolently over the abjectly analogous
insufferably lonely mortal heart longing for its wholeness
and the ever-pining, ill fate, tragedy and mourning
in grief from greater depths of my heart and in essence
of covenant consecrated to sorrowing of eternal sustenance
like geysering tears from a democritus' spring
II
at length losing proximity but patience through the incessant gloaming
whence harkening the clamouring pyre grievously
wherewith the eternally missed departs the morbid decay beneath her dignity
beyond uttered goodbyes
to subsist on one promise to face the rest of life incomplete obligatorily yet conceptually i mustered
but with repose for im assured
that she left, laid awake in perpetuity neath the glass at last
enshrouded in peace and acceptance within her coffin chamber
herein fraught with piquant blossoms smothering her little frame
all dressed up ere the approach to, it is hoped, the better place
but alas, lo, that imperfection and gloominess of an emptiness which ponderously abided in her ever so limpid eyes!
which were once set with vivace aflame
and with firmness i discharge against her bidding soon
my wrist now slit and blood bestrewn
nothing will stand in the way of my appetency to meet her again, on the moon!
()(*(&^&%^&$&^$^#&^*^$%&*%&*%^&%^$*%^&^%
A little analysis on the part of me:
Notice the lack of capitals in the poem. This is to indicate more flow throughout the entire poem. Could also be to bring out the apparent numbness or immense sadness and despondency of the author.
On the wide range of vocabulary used: lo and behold posh linguistic exhibitionism! [ quote from ariel ;) ]
posted by daniel at
8:16 PM
9 Comments:
Doesn't have the flow, the words aren't that...swell ^^;;
But zomg ARIEL WROTE IT? ._.
wonderful analysis indeed
to charissa: yes ariel wrote it!!! ARIEL'S DA MAN!!! DID YA READ IT WITH THE SONG?!
to ariel: WELL U WERE THE COMPOSER!!
OMG TOO MUCH TALENT! *dies* But can improve though ^^;; I didn't lawl. Was sneakingly using the comp ._.
Okay I just listened to the song. I didn't like it.
wah ur a real simon
admittedly its pure corn lol
No, because it does not have any feelings. Contradictory to the poem (which is yes, pure corn zomg) and thus...
No flow lah! 8D
FLOW... hmm... interesting... so ariel... go add flow to the poem yarrrr... haha... then we c how it goes... anyway... HALCYON ROCKS!!! lol... XD
thx for honest comments i know its shite but i shall not wallow in 'artistic remorse' n pore over immensible 'litrary shortcomings n corn' n make the amends cos im fucking lazy so ill work on something less phony more structured with more flows which u expected and apply 'poetic devices' as ws suggested n hopefully its not pure shite lol n im not a lit student btw so sry for causing mental anguish over my unworthy prose lol
halcyon fucking rocks!
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