fly

havent updated this space for quite awhile. been away from home since monday.

anyway life's been good.

Rhythm song is shaping up, had pretty much decent IP time this week, including one which i went back up to the music studio at night with edwin to IP, him on the grand piano and me on the marimba.

night's filled up with movie sessions, practice session and tuition.

btw My Precious is an awesome show. really worthy of the nominations and Oscars. and the movie ticket auntie at shaw was really nice to give us the pssion card discount with her own card.

youth olympics perc routine, perc ensemb, yo rehearsals and of course ndp coming up. and i finally am gonna resume lessons with my tutor. foresee the coming week to be kinda busy. and prolly the next few weeks as well. hopefully there'll still be enough time to hang out with friends and do that night practice thingy. there's something about practicing at night that makes me feel so accomplished :)

just found out atcl is $825 and ltcl is prolly $1000+ ... better start saving up... (savings coming along fine btw :) i've been thrifty.... well sort of...)

oh oh..

i think i'm gonna start keeping a piece of paper with me whenever i go. for me to jot down things whenever i remember them.. feel really forgetfull recently..

something like... agreed to help ronald yesterday to complete some admin stuff today.. did some of it this morning before first muster..

and then went for pt, then was on the way up after that to interrupt edwin practicing (it's a habit of me and my friend to break him from his piano pounding trance), passed by the company office, and then suddenly realised i was supposed to be finishing up the admin stuff, an hour ago...

(well at least i got it done in the end.. i think he forgot too.. cause he looked plesantly suprised when i told him i finished)

yeah...

so there. given that i'm prolly gonna be having much more stuff to do next time.. i'd better do that paper thingy..

as envisioned by my buddy in the near future:

"eh where's the training programme for this week?"

"ohhh rightrightright... lemme go collect the schedule..."

"eh sialah no more off passes??"

"ohhh rightrightright.. gimme a sec... where did i put that inkstamp???"

of course i doubt the situation will be that apocalyptic, but yeah well.. one cannot help but take precautions..

right. Blizzard has released a new map with 4 new heroes.

till then!

oh PS: City march tmr. crap. i think my hands are gonna be damn sore after tomorrow.

gold

there. another chapter ends.

everything is so damn fucked up.

when things don't go, everything doesnt go.

so many things i want to do, and yet i don't.

so many things i want to say, and yet i just don't.

thats the problem: fucking hate repercussions.

you know, i really just want to go into recluse or something.

people, their thoughts, their intentions, their feelings, their agenda, what they think, what they do, what they want you to do, what they know.

had enough of all that crap.

i tend to like to be all happy and smiley and everything-is-okay-i-swallow-it-down-and-move-along

but seriously? fuck it. why should i bother what happens next anymore. why should i be the one doing all the worrying. why should i be the one always being on the losing end because i think too much. why should i Need to try to change things first? why the fuck do i even care? why the fuck am i even saying all this?

call me fuck-ed up, i seriously don't want to care anymore.

there's just so many things. so many issues.

i have no idea why some days i seem to be able to turn all my problems right just with a twinkling of an eye. yet somedays like this i just cant shake it all away. and it gets all over me. and it's suffocating.

welcome to the messed up side of me guys.

you know where to look.

back at home after 3days to chill abit before heading back to camp at night.

can i say i'm very happy today?

managed to use the percussion studio for a good hour today. used it to really work my pieces.

my hands are currently very tired now, but it feels freaking awesome :) soyeah.

gonna scour through my table for more scores to bring to camp to practice.

oh.

tattoo auditions tmr, some kinda overseas exchange trip to japan and germany. they're holding auditions to see who gets to go with the band there.

pls do well, daniel.

yes!

alright. i shall indulge in some shameless facebook stalking to satisfy my dormant voyeuristic tendencies (you have them too, dont deny it!)

till then.

oh yes, sibf's on sunday. whee.

Yourself

There. Stay in starts tmr.

even though it's only a month, i think i'm prolly gonna request to stay in there permanently to concentrate on stuffs.

yes call me crazy, but i have grand plans :)

and my mum thinks i'm crazy too. cause i'm gonna lug my packed stuff first to bugis to meet jannah for lunch, then to taysong's house for tennis, then to toapayoh for tuition, and finally back to camp.

maybe i should drop by camp first....

bro's going krabi. hope he doesnt engage in those rock climbing thingams. at least not alone..

right, time to start packing

May The Final Packed Bag Be Small.

ohyeah

You know how a Christian leaves a service feeling empowered, or a Buddhist achieving solace and comfort after a cleansing rite;

the same thing happened to me, in a solitary walk home from the mrt, amidst the cool night breeze, along the glistening concrete paths.

Along with 3 songs that aptly provided a template for my thoughts:

Everything / Everytime / Find My Way


hmmm.

anyway.

pretty packed week ahead.

and.

time to save up for the registration fee for my exams.

Brown cow

know how empty hope feels?

i'm just really sad. and tired.

maybe it's the fever. maybe it's not.

i'm going to sleep

call me superficial, but the wallposts on facebook, the smses and the well wishes i received today were like tiny little sparks of warmth and joy in my life. it's just really gratifying.

:)

anyway i know this is kinda random, but i'm sort of gonna quote from my mum, who quoted from some random chinese text.

'if a compliment can make someone's day, why not just dispense them generously when you want to, instead of having reservations here and there, and make this place we live in a happier one?'

but oh well.

really rings true.

that saying, of course one does not go around doing that when you mean the exact opposite.. that would be pushing it abit too far out.

anyhow, try it. (motivational speaker coming up)

make an effort to compliment 7 people in a day. might take effort to begin with, but it will become natural as it goes along.

and definitely, watching people smile in reply, that would have certainly have helped made your day :)

(okay dont ask me if i tried it yet, i'm just sort of quoting it from some random pick-me-up book that i was browsing thru sometime back)

right. soundcheck tmr at esplanade.

tata

Across the stars

there. 19.

coincidentally, it's my 900th post hahaha.

hmm. okay i'm actually thinking of reflecting over my 18th year, but then again, it's gonna sound like a end yr reflection on every 31th dec.

but here goes anyway.

i guess, hands down it was one of the most craziest age of my short 18years on earth.

within the span of the my 18th year, so many things have happened, so many things have changed

but i guess one thing that really stuck constant throughout, was the few people here and there who really stuck by me, whom i truly can call my friends. thankyou for being there. There are those whom i only talk to once in awhile nowadays, since we're all in different places now, we don't talk much, but i know that you guys are there and will be there in times of need. For our paths to have crossed, i thankyou for the times and the memories.

anyhow, what that have happened, or perhaps, how i view many things have definitely changed so much. and there's so much to put to words, that i simply cannot express in this little writing corner of mine.

nevertheless, as a closing to all that 'year reflection mumbo jumbo' my 19th year will be an awesome one, which basically leads down to a few random phrases that i am too tired to form proper sentences and paragraphs with:

life's definitely gonna throw me lots of lemons, so i'm just gonna freaking bite it and spit it right back at them

firm up that will of mine that has been much tested during my 18th year on this planet.

and definitely, work harder in the things i wish and want to do, (which of course includes many things which are not really privvy for discussion.. )

yep.


right anyway.

concert today.

seriously respect the conductor for conducting the full Sibelius symphony, about 45min, without the use of a score.

Respect dude.

and watching a very good friend performing a concerto.

i seriously, earnestly, think it was an awesome performance.

He would have prolly claimed errors on his part here and there, but honestly it just felt great listening to the piece, so awesome job, jasper! i think i'm gonna go download the piece. loving the 1st and 2nd mvmt very much.


and.

sakura and despicable me outing this afternoon.

and

swimming in the morning..

shall not talk too much about it, yeah cause i'm tired. and i kinda need to wake up in 5hours time.

so, till then, then.

the smell of my mum panfrying shallots and garlic is killing me.

i want my lunch! (okay i just had breakfast so yeah... such a glutton.)

offin lieu day for ndp.

which is quite sad really, cause ndp falls on the day where most people are free, but monday just happens to be the day where most people are not. so i would prolly be stuck at home.. and the swimming pool closes on monday argh. (i think i mentioned it in my previous post. i'm not sure..)

hence the people you are most likely gonna hang out with are the ones who have the same off too. which, you see practically everyday of the week in camp.

gonna head over to yunsong's house later for tennis in the afternoon. before chionging down to braddel for some tuition.

hence, in the meantime, i think i'm just gonna rot at home till then.

tata

Here Without You

Today sucked.

let's see.

Ndp.

Freaking birdshit that landed on my lunch.

Told off by my BSM.

Utterly disappointed at my own playing.

And i think i'm coming down with a fever.

screw this.

converting songs from wma format to itunes form is such a bitch..

didnt think of that when i was extracting all 9 symphonies of mahler, 6 symphonies of tchaikovsky and 4 symphonies of brahms.

and now, i prolly have to wait a million years before they are converted.

ndp at noon later.

and band tmr at 1pm.

shall make a promise to myself to go swimming on tuesday.

it's been ages.

and,

yeah. (gibberish)

tata.

beef patties ftw + chopped garlic too

a well spent day off.

spent the night with a mini barberque with the training batch from band at this quaint little rooftop hideout at my friend's place opposite camp.

good food, good company, awesome atmosphere, what more can you ask for?

shopped for the barbeque food after taking the afternoon off from camp. ntuc finest seriously stocks some mean food.

and chopped garlic goes well with practically all forms of meat that is barbecued.

going back to mj tmr, and hopefully get my marimba sticks back -.-

oh. dwayne got me this awesome shirt from urban outfitters for my birthday. some tshirt with the score of Marriage Of Figaro printed on it haha.

ok actually, he said it was cause he bought the tee for himself but somehow the sizes were screwed up and he figured it was about the size for me so yeah.

but thanks dude! haha its an awesome tee man!

okay band drill tmr.

May the 3beat rolls be smooth.

tata

F-Moll Op 36

went to concert at night.

hearing an orchestra play live since a very long time. brings back alot of memories.

and made me really reflect about alot of stuff, during the piece.

yes i'm not ashamed to admit; the 2nd mvmt of tchai4 served as a backdrop to my thoughts. i'm not faring that badly, the 3 girls to my side were asleep.

anyhow, today.

interesting day.


the day before graduation.

things happen, scars deepen, new scars formed

i just dont know what to feel in light of all these.

z

on a happier note, ___________________


yes i know it's so irritating when half the post would probably be gibberish to you.

pardon me now and then eh.

till then.

decided to go with my parents to a family friend's 50th birthday.

quite glad i went i guess. food was awesome. we were housed in the function rm at the 44th flr of The Sail at marina bay, which was kinda cool, overlooking the city and all, and we caught the fireworks from the NE show at Padang today. front seat view haha.

thankgoodness i convinced my dad that casual/smart casual didnt mean shirt shorts and slippers. lets just say the birthday dude's daughter went all out on this: waiter's serving wine and punch, followed by a fine selection of fantastically tasty cheese.

arranged a gathering with the group of children ( now very much young adults ) this wed. yea, we all basically went on tour almost every year together since i was 9years old. as Sherm said after 2months of mindwashing bmt : you're the Conducting Officer for the gathering!!! *laughs spastically*

hahah truetrue. the mindwashing bit that makes you think everything in army context.

that saying, feeling kinda stoned after tanking for my dad drinking with the (more-adult) adults. my bro's driving and my dad's speaking a tad louder + red in face so yeah.

i think i'm just gonna get an early night today.

PS: red and white wine shouldnt be drank in succession one after another; they don't go well together, says the queasy stomach.

"Who is most wretched in this dolorous place?
I think myself; yet I would rather be
My miserable self than He, than He
Who formed such creatures to His own disgrace.

"The vilest thing must be less vile than Thou
From whom it had its being, God and Lord!
Creator of all woe and sin! abhorred
Malignant and implacable! I vow

"That not for all Thy power furled and unfurled,
For all the temples to Thy glory built,
Would I assume the ignominious guilt
Of having made such men in such a world."

- The City of Dreadful Night (James Thomson)

A Fraction of the Whole

just finished the book dwayne lent me.

awesomeness.



the style is so amazing, it's amazing.

serious.

his favourite book. but i just cant shake the feeling that the book was written by a madman...

the ideas inside are. interestingly, illogical yet made so much sense.

the issues brought up and discussed? amazing.

definitely one helluva good book.

but let's say you need lots of stamina to read this book. its the type of book that gives you so much to think a single page you get mentally tired after awhile. of course you can read through this book like a normal novel and go "hey, this author is quirky" but yea.

i took 3weeks to complete this book. so there.

it's the type of book that makes you desperately try to remember certain pages in the book cause you wanna flip back to it later on to ponder over the whole idea brought up there.

jannah if you're reading this: you. Have. to read this book before you enter another institution that would prolly cram up your mind once more.

READ IT!!!!! (desperate wishes from a raving lunatic)


right okay. if you're wondering why i'm getting all worked up, i'm like that with good books.

along with good music, and good food.

food's at the top though.

and if that dark clouds looming at the distance are gonna materialise into rain and spoil my perfectly awesome plan to swim, i'm officially converting into a secular humanist.

ta-ta.

reh later on at night. argh

Arbite

headed to this new pasta place at around chompchomp for a late dinner after saf day today.

the journey was kinda epic.

split into 2 cars to head to the destination.

my buddy was cruising at 120kmph on the expressway. and the other driving dude overtook him - at a constant speed.

freaking speed demons.

but i guess there's something thrilling about riding down the expressway, with that awesome sound system booming, with your head half-stuck out of the window. :D

call me a thrill seeker, but it's just awesome.


but i get alilttle queasy thinking about the safety breaches involved....

lol that saying, pasta was awesome.

and i'm hooked on another pasta type.

move over, fettucine, here comes tergatelli. (i don't think it's spelt that way, but i'm too lazy to look i up on m-w.)

so there.

pastashop's name the title of the post btw, if you're interested.

price is about.. $15-$25.. lunch's about $10-15

and can i say the soup is fantastic.

and you know how i am with soups.

they say the only way to a man's heart is thru his stomach - food.

i say no. how bout soup?

sothere.

ta-ta

reh tmr, reh on sat, and reh on sunday.

:(

but oh well.

and so sorry jomel and gang :(