I'm a perfectionist.

and still is..

but no longer in my studies.

only slightly..

times have past when i really get down if i don't get what i know i can achieve.

nowadays I'll just tell myself i work harder next time.

i think im starting to get to lax on myself..

even my music.

big gaping errors.

shit i relly need a hell load of reflection.

and change




perfectionism here i come.

whee, exams are over!! (actually theres still one more paper tmr but its an hr long paper with jus one qn on unseen poetry.. so there's basically nothing i can study for.. almost )

So there, went to watch "wanted" with classmates.. now show was really interesting// but the ending was abit... lets just say it leaves with more qns then before the show started.. but its an interesting new way of ending. the type that more mvie producer's are using nowadays..

Not the type of full satifiable ending. with epilouge and all. everyone goes home happy ever after that sorta thing.

Instead, the ending leaves you thinking of lotsa stuff.. bout how things turned out this way. how they would carry on with their lives, blahblahblah..

But yea its interesting.

oh well anyway exams ended leaves me feeling pretty weird.. cuz i know i did okay. relatively. but judging from my parents expectations, i tink i would juz earn another round of chiding from them, abt how i shld be old enough not to let them chide blahblah.. whatever.

but even still, i know i can do better, cuz if i actually touched that pile of work to be done on my table during the june holidays and properly read everything true with gd time management and not dilly-dallying around, I know i would DEFINITELY do much better...

And ma music. must start workingo n them skills or i'll just gonna remain stagnant while new people come into the scene and people continue moving upwards.

so.

really i lot to work on for the yr end!

my june-year resolution!



And.

Im so looking forward to italy =) 12 more days!!! cant wait to go out of coutnry and take a gd break from all this things!! and also take the time to communicate and practice. and also to attempt to wound my own mallets =)))

=D

just wasted 4hrs of precious studying time reading a book "country of the blind" ..

bleeding lovely book. time well spent.

pity the people i know wouldnt really appreciate it i think.. not their type..

political thriller, conspiracy theories and satire.

fricking amazing author.. completed is entire series already =) christopher brookmyre. =)

now.. time to study econs!! haiz..

Some people may find it weird. but i had a really great time tonight surfing the web.

Guess what i was reading..

haha the singapore penal code and statures.

I find it really darn interesting to read up about the laws of my country many which i didn't even know bout.

for example. kidnapping is a crime punishable by death in singapore? oh and interestingly, by not reporting to the police the event of the kidnapping, an offence is committed?

its really very interesting.. really.. but hey i don't wanna be a lawyer okay.. reading the statures are one thing, memorising them is another.. haha.. some of the acts are a pretty gd read as well.. lyk the sedition act and the maritime convetion act or something haha. go read up. its damn fun.. =)


really fun..

then after that.. went up to read even more laws of other countries at

really damn interesting ( for the fourth time already)

gd for my GP too haha.. for the law and order segment.. =)

oh then a stumbled upon something really cool.. apparently the legal drinking age in US is 21 while the legal age to smoke, get married, drive a car and join a war is 18..

interesting eh. being able to smoke and risk your life in a war but not being able to sit with your parents at a restaurant for a glass of red wine? haha

but of course there are exceptions to the law..

alright, shant bore my readers with more incessant rambling bout the "interesting"ness of reading up on laws hahaha... =)

Oh yes and to continue the chronicles of daniel and his malu incident at ORCHARD !!!!

so from where i left off.. i got the book. so i walked to the counter.

then i realised.. shit not enough cash.
Whips out by NETS card in a flourish.

I knew it would come in handy someday paying for stuff... and then the thought struck me.. what if later..

(queues for 15min)

Cashier lady simpers: oh we don't accept NETS (inserts manical laughter..)

and so i walked to the cashier counter and asked. does this accept .. this thing? ( cause i had the blue POSB card and suddenly forgot what was the term for it...

and so she said: yes we accept.. NETS... but u have to queue over there..

so i was thinking maybe cause i took the book from another section of the store and i have to queue from another counter..

so i asked: which queue?

and then she smiled thinly.. and pointed behind me.. : "there."

so i turned around i saw a line of irritated customers staring at me from behind the queue line which i apparently missed..

and so i slunk to the back of the queue.. and sorta hid my face with the book..

And after an interminable wait, my turn at the queue arrived.. surprise surprise.. same cashier lady.

Passes over book and NETS card in silence.


She asks : are you a kinokuniya member?

(oo can get discount issit?)

Me: erm is there some form of discount?
She: _ % discount ( forgotten suddenly.. my memory is failing me.. )
Me: so i need to have a card?
( puts on my sweetest smile and hope she'll let me have the discount without the card. )
She: ... ... er. yes you need to have the card..
Me: er ok.. erm.. then .. yea i dun have the card..

She: (stares at me in silence.)

The PIN typing thingy swings over in response.

I stare at it blankly.

Do i type the PIN in now or do i wait until she asks me to type? Later she never put my card in then steal the PIN i typed how???

Pondering the issue when i saw her looking pointedly at me and then at the typing thing.

Hastily typed my PIN. with the other hand covering the entire PIN board as if someone will jump out and shout "GOTCHA!" and peep at my PIN.

And finally i made my purchase. Ouch. Expensive book it is..

the amount of "face value" lost for it.. priceless.. =(

so there.. the chronicles of daniel and his malu adventure at orchard..

who knows.. but i tink im gonna screw up my next shopping trip too.. (which would be like.. half a yr ltr?)

till then... ta-ta =)

Welcome Daniel Ho, here is your handwriting analysis.

Daniel is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes.

Daniel will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Daniel an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Daniel is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

Daniel is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Daniel doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Daniel will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Daniel believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride.

Daniel will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

In reference to Daniel's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Daniel slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Daniel can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Daniel's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Daniel that he wasn't a great and beautiful person, and he believed them. Daniel also has a fear that he might fail if he takes large risks. Therefore he resists setting his goals too high, risking failure. He doesn't have the internal confidence that frees him to take risks and chance failure. Daniel is capable of accomplishing much more than he is presently achieving. All this relates to his self-esteem. Daniel's self-concept is artificially low. Daniel will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Daniel to plan too far into the future. He kind of takes things on a day to day basis. He may tell you his dreams but he is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud he speaks, look at his actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Daniel is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Daniel has a tendency to put things off, Daniel procrastinates. He sometimes pretends to be busy, so he will not have to do whatever he is putting off. He is often late to appointments or deadlines. This usually leads to a great amount of effort at the last minute to meet the deadline. Procrastination is an important factor as it relates to his output on the job or at school. Remember, Daniel will put it off until later. Procrastination is easily overcome through a simple stroke adjustment in the handwriting.

Daniel is very self-sufficient. He is trying not to need anyone. He is capable of making it on his own. He probably wants and enjoys people, but he doesn't "need" them. He can be a loner.

Something is incomplete in Daniel's life. He feels frustration relating to his physical needs and desires. Somewhere in his life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Daniel's sexual needs.

Daniel exaggerates about everything that has a physical nature. Although he may not intend to deceive or mislead, he blows things way out of proportion because that is the way he views them. He will be a good story teller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of his material world. Daniel allows many people into his life because he is accepting and trusting. He is sometimes called gullible by his friends. That only really means that he trusts too many people. Daniel has a vivid imagination.


---------------


That from a hand writing analysis taken from http://www.handwritingwizard.com/

which i discovered from xinying's blog..

o.O

somehow im abit unnerved... certain pts hit spot on but erm.. "Somewhere in his life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Daniel's sexual needs."

WHAT!!???? LOL...


"Daniel is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken."

and this makes me sound like a wrist slashing emo teen..

-.-

o well.. fairly accurate though..

interesting.. =)

So malu la!!


wanted to go to orchard kinokuniya today to buy book. so i asked mr lim where is kinokuniya..

me: eh where kinokuniya ar?
him: taka lor
me: where taka?
him: orchard..
me: where in orchard????
him: inside ngee ann city..
me: oh ok...

walks in silence...

me: eh where is ngee ann city..
him: -.-..
me: where???
him: er.. orchar.. oh yes beside wisma atria there...
me: erm... wisma atria is the mrt there yar???

him: (walks off ignoring me..)


so i took it as a yes.. realised i suck at city areas even after venturing alone to these areas more often this yr..

anyway so i reached wisma atria..

then irealised something.. the buildings are all so high i cant see which one is ngee ann city.

so off i went walking to all 4 sides of wisma atria... tang's .. wheelock place... and finally ngee ann city.. spent nearly 15min baking in the hot sun while walking around..

at one pt i was seriously wanting to borrow one of the angmoh passer by de map to c.. but that would be damn embarrassing.. okay so i entered ngeeann city..

i was overwhelmed...

did i say i was completely hopeless in shopping centres? esp big ones lyk this? it was lyk a frickin MAZE!!

so hopelessly i walked to the map directory to look for the book store.. and i some how my eyes must have passed over the words cuz i really cant find it..

so i sort of wandered around abit till i came to the entrance tower B.. VoilA! there's another mall directory!!

went there and saw kinokuniya!! 13th flr..

(i thot i was pretty darn smart for being able to navigate my way thru this maze of shops)

so i went up...


and went into the "store" of kinokuniya and asked the counter lady..

me: err is this the bookstore???
counter lady: ... erm no this is the office area for kinokuniya..
me: T.T
counter lady: kinokuniya is on the third flr.
me: =)


went to the lift. got in. and realised that there was no button for third flr...

decide to open my golden mouth once more and ask the counter lady again.

me: erm.. kinokuniya bookstore is on 3rd flr?
counterlady: yess...
me: but there isnt a third flr button on the lift...
coutnerlady: erm.. u can take the life to the 4th flr and take an escalator down to 3rd flr.. ... ...
me: ... ... oh hahaha ( attempts to crack a joke ) lifts this days.. so confusing... ahhaha
counterlady: ya ha ha .. ha.. ( trying hard to indulge me with laughter..)
me: ( makes as quick an exit i can )


so there.. so darn malu...

anway.. i really muz be blind or smthg cuz kinokuniya took up the entire 3rd flr... how could i not c it.. and finding the single bk was a nightmare if not for the nice service counter lady(another one) who helped me look for the bk =)

will spare u the nitty gritty details.. but i got the bk =)

and then there was the incident with the membership card for kinokuniya.. but thats for another day.. too tired.. =)

read thru my past posts..

must stop posting so much crap..
haha..


When to triton OGL chalet today, felt. good.

Really felt wonderful to b with this people again, just hanging out and all. But at times, i feel. distanced. maybe its time. maybe its me. but interestingly, im starting to feel the same way for almost everything else.

Is venturing into the whole new world taking a toll on me after all?

darn i screwed the tamb roll... argh... abit disappointed but still quite happy with my performance in the concer =)

anyway..

is this it once more? only time will tell.. i guess i have a full 10 days to discover anything that may come and several more days b4 to see whether anything comes out of it. =)

okay.. concert over already.. muz start to stuudy.. was clearing notes away last night to make way for music scores and i seriously saw dust piling on my notes! damn i really have to start studying... 1 more wk to go!!! ONWARDS!!!

2 turning points of the day today.

went for YO camp today. entering, the compound, i felt foreboding and uneasy. the previous camp was a nightmare. I knew no one. No one knew me. I felt left out. I couldnt communicate. I wouldnt communicate. I felt held back. But this camp. It turned out pretty fine. met really cool people. And the previous perceptions i had were unfounded. i felt great. Okay so maybe they wont be exactly superb friends. but yea i knew them now. really felt myself for awhile. Games were... well lets juz say i let my inner child out and i definitely did have hell lot of fun. Imagine me lying on another person's stomach and saying Ha Ha Ha. ( thats part of a game..-.- )

so anyway. then i went for p.winds rehearsal. things got along fine. until "In Wartime" was played. My sectionmates were really kind. they stood up for me when he threw criticism at me. But no it wasnt juz him. I really messed up the impt bits of my playing... and to think it was the last rehearsal b4 concert. it was definitely demoralising. I tried to think positively. but with every note i played, i just felt myself sinking lower, lower and lower. The final blow came when, yes, he criticised me. Even though i knew i was correct. But i felt wronged, maligned. Those harsh words, attitude. The look on the other members faces. I simply couldnt take it anymore. I controlled myself to sit silently and a side. But within me, i simply had broken down. I never felt that depressed ever since i started playing music. the only time that came close to comparison was when i was the only one who din get in for auditions for syf sec2. This felt totally horrible. I felt foreign to that place. I was way out of my league. Just a small boy playing a totally new game with the adults. I really wanted to dash out of the room and just disappear. It felt horrible.

My sectionmates were really kind. I really have to thank them. if not for them, i tink i would have lost the will to continue dabbling with this madness. but yet i still feel lousy.

Really lousy.


.
.
But its alrite, i will prove to these people who ever doubted me before. i will surpass the expectations of anyone who judged me, criticised me.

I will.

i blame in on the late nights.

i blame in on the late nights.


Rehearsals really demanding.. 7-1030 mon, tue, wed and fri

then i would reach home at 1130-12...

then i would need my fix of supper. which i will finish round 1230.

settling my mail and stuff. 130...

whee.. then obviously being an avid messenger n gossip i m, i would chat till bout 2plus...

and then i slp..

Hence my body clock is disrupted and i end up waking up at 10-11am..

its affecting me la.. i still cant believe i smsed my PW mates to meet at 11pm... when i wanted them to meet at 11am.. so.. argh!!!

which i have nvr done more than 2 consecutive times in my life.. which i now have done times in a row..

sigh.. waste my entire morning away when i could b studying.. then afternoon still nid to go out.. argh,,,


zzz

I have alot to learn i learnt.

The gap between myself and the rest of them.. really too wide.

But lucky for me, time is on my side. and I can catch up, if i work hard.

They thought i was weird practising at rehearsal, but lookin at them, those who actually practiced during sch hours, or spend hours on a single drum. I don't have that luxury, thats why i pick at this rare moments i get to practice.

=) someday i will catch up, and maybe even surpass them! =)

I must work hard
I will work hard..

(i tink this is becoming some kinda mantra... )

bugging parents.. they dun get it.. do they..

bugging parents.. they dun get it.. do they..

its a damn small world i realise.. looking thru some of my classmates recent photo albums on facebook and realised that everyone seems to be bumping into everyone.. old friends meet new friends so on and so on.. my primary sch classmates got to know my sec sch classmates in their diff jc.s wow.. its really a damn small world.. Singapore... so small... haha

life changing process. involves turning back history. and amending stuff they should never be said out aloud.


Amended.

oh. n i tink i was being an ass some parts of the day. for that im truly sorry to dose who were negatively affected by me. i wasnt myself.

I walked out of house full of motivation and purpose to begin a great day. i returned defeated and weighed down by the pressing burdens and deadlines.

Went to lesson, could tell Mr L wasnt very happy at my progress at snare technique, esp my double stroke. I wan to improve. but i must find time to practice.

Went to cch wth a heavy heart that i'll nvr b gd enough.

Spirits brightened slightly when know i would be able to see some of my really great friends and juniors.

Sweltering heat i endure for sch. really sweaty after a 15min walk frm busstop at king's mansion. And i stepped into cement. zz

Music in mainband combined. Im speechless. That ain a compliment. More of a loss for words. Wont elaborate. As R.Y aptly describes, " a lump of sound " .
Nicest interpretation: fully covered and cloaked by lower brasses.

Marvel at the ability of lower brasses relative to mainband.

Went out for dinner with R.Y bert n jh. Real fun. Casting aside worries and fears for a sec and bullshiting away and chilling like no tmr.

Back to reality.

Alumni band prac. astounding no. of guest players and a really ^&%^(*-&$ guest H^&& player. (not a compliment). c him everywhere.

And he was just picking on us. really abt the nitty gritty things. and some real issues i must say.

Disappointed at my playing.

Just couldnt get the notes right wth entire band rm looking on at me sightreading the stupid piano score wth the wrong keysignature.

Very disappointed at myself.

And irritated at him for doing that.

So things went downhill.

Spotted mistakes in my playing.

The uneasiness. the flaws. the gaps. the weaknesses. everything

I was inferior. Novice. Inexperienced.

Went home with a heavy heart.

Exhausted. Mentally and physically.

Received msg on rehearsal tmr.

Confronted wth reality of how busy i m.

How im bunking under all this pressure. I hate to admit. but maybe i reached my limit. Due to : the real mismanagement of time. the self discipline to study/practise.

Im really disappointed wth myself.

I could really do much better.

Reached home. 2347

logged on

saw teacher's mail to parents. let them c. 15min of lecturing. though comical in how dad attempts to repeat the same idea the umpteen time with different context. Build up strong foundation = sichuan earthquake not downing buildings with strong bases.. like.. =.=

i tried hard to focus on the funny side. But i couldnt. cause i know deep down i failed. i wanted them to stop lecturing me. But i knew they had every right to. yet in a way they shouldnt. but i know they were right. i could do much better. much better.

as i sit hear typing this. I think through the list of things upcoming.

this aftnoon, R.Y looked at my handphone calendar in shock

every single day was packed. and to think that a yr ago, the only reminders were friends birthdays. No longer.

Tmr: MJ band prac(MJ), YO rehearsal(CCAB), P.winds rehearsal(SMU). And to top it off. i havent really practised my parts for p.winds and YO. have to do it during band prac. There, morning to night packed. 9am-10pm. how lovely.

Sun: comparatively, thats the most free day i have. Ironically, thats the day i have my concert.

early afternoon P.youth rehearsal (NYP), late afternoon to night secsch conert(SCH)
2.30pm to 11pm .seriously, im happy. I have the morning free to type out PW interviews to send by mail. Im behind time. so i figured since sat and sun wasnt a working day. i'd just have to get it to them by Mon. Procrastinator, there we go again. But do you think i wan to. Partially yes, but on the other hand. take a look at my schedule. Time presents itself only in the form of midnights and before daybreak.

And after this concert, i'd think i would b free. Not really.

practically every single day would be spent in rehearsal, lessons and ensemble work.
Next concert, nxt sun wth P.winds. and Ooh YO camp. 3D2N: effectively one third of the wk. add in the other stuffs. 2 thirds the wk gone. so where left to study?

Im happy i get to play there. It IS my dream. But how well and how far i will fare in this ratrace. I wonder.

Oh n next wk? chalet. the rare few breaks i take during this june hols. I just realised. i havent been to a movie since feb.. even a decent hangout wth friends like normal teenagers do. yet i cant. i havent have time. I really nid to work my timemanagement. but that saying, where to find the time to manage time? there is a way. i hope
And to top it off, lyk the final cut made to the carcass of an animal to sever its head. PW. we R behind time. we MUST move fast. we NEED to do research. but how soon?

And the wk after that? Oh look its the beginning of a new sch term. And the arrival of the MYEs.

So what happened to the june hol plans of consolidating of work and revising? gone.

Luckily, these weeks havent passed yet. There is still time to change this schedule. There is hope. however frail it maybe. Lets hope this termbreak shall not come back to haunt me for years to come of the wrong decisions made during this period.

I must change.

I will change.



-- even after writing this post. i dun feel any better than before, only a clearer understanding how dire the outcome and situation is if this continues.

I will change.

I must.

Wow. Its my 100th post.. Time really flies yea.. from a place where a post my opinions. to a place where i voice my dissatisfation. n sometimes by joy. my life. my happiness and my sorrow. the funny moments, and the tearful ones. the quirky stories and the meaningful ones. the random links and useful once.

For that, i shall pass yet another tribute to this site...


ANOTHER EMBEDED GAME!!



Play Games at AddictingGames



=D

but o well. behind the wonderful and amazing colours lie a darker and deeper truth.
So there. Enjoy your colours while u can..

wth i have no idea y im typing this.. must be the studies getting to me.. =(

just came back frm timp masterclass and sec sch band prac.. sec sch band prac wasnt exactly enlightening. but its opened my mind to the opposite spectrum of band music... so there.. wont comment...

anyway..

suddenly vry in love wth band works, piano contemporary works and orchestral works.. haha... must be the dvorak recording and "Zi's timpani playing to the recording" for an hr that spark of that love.. man... the paul guy is gd.. i actually start to feel for an initially which i thought boring piece.. i mean,,,, c'mon ain no fan of dvorak man.. haha anyway.. loving persis too haha not cuz of the xylo bit.. but of the style of the whole song ... all the more i must learn that xylo part thouuroughly.. yea..


anyway..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDNy4YuCxdk

my first song initiation to contemporary work.. loving that song.. =) cotton mills blues.. haha.. the ghostly blues amongst the insane drone of the machines.. hmmm


http://youtube.com/watch?v=CHmMurvSzTY

real weird piano contemporary work.. i thot it was comedy at first.. but it got real cool after awhile.. =)

ok im sounding a lil' geeky in this post.. but.. hey i'm loving it. so who cares =)


and aniway =)

current fave songs =)

PERSIS OVERTURE!! OMG THE BRASS, OBOE SOLO, TIGHT PERC, AND ALL.. ( not my secsch band recording..) just the way the song is composed =)

AND

WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE!!!

WOOO!!! ASIDE FRM THE RATHER DEADENING BEGINNING.. THE ENDING IS!! SHIOK!!!

BUT MAINLY I LOVE IT CUZ OF THE CYMBAL PART HAHAH.. QUAVER CRASH!! YEA!!! =DDDD

life's been great..

Mugging away.. rehearsing.. PW.. tutorship lessons.. alumni band... winds prac.. youths prac... going back to sec sch and all that..

h,mm

Italy trip
Pre concert b4 italy
P.winds concert
cch concert

add all that to countless mugging..

Stressed out? nah not really..

with all this busy schedule and all.. i feel like once again i have motivation in my life.. a purpose in what im doing instead of just lying around and loafing off..

Maybe i'm suited for this kinda stuff.. the busy schedule and the unending rush for time..

Call me sick.. But its fulfilling to me =)

was bored so decided to look thru some of my juniors blog's on recent band camp.. was pretty sad n dejected after reading them...

is the band culture dying?

look at other schools band camp and the common posts abt it was that it eather rocked, or they were very sad... ( cuz their seniors were passing out )... yadayada... and people from our band only blogged abt how losuy the band camp was... complained abt every single thing from food to "luggage", to the combines... to the sectionals... what they dun realise is that the cause of the lousy combines and sectionals was due to themselves not practising well and not paying attention enough...

do we really suck that much, so much that while other people loved their band camps (mostly) while our juniors just complain and complain abt band camp? and band in general actually...

its sad. real sad


when back to band camp that day.. so this really attitude throughout.. most had pretty negative views on band.. esp the seniors... though the sec1s had pretty open minds abt band.. some even enjoed it.. i'm pretty sure most will get influenced by their seniors and end up hating band in the end.. such a lousy culture... hai... its all our fault for not pushing abt changes.. saw some rare gems here and there.. not conformed to general ideal... enthusiastic.. and vibrant..

and some of the sec1s.. note I said some.. cuz apparently some sec1 aint to happy with the sch band and everything bout it frm her blog.. just wondering.. if she din lyked it so much why not quit?...

anyway.. some sec1 were really standing out from the rest, shant really elaborate.. really great to talk to sec ones, untainted by the current lousy sch culture.. yet... really fun.. that pure happiness.. some call it innocence.. i just call it that natural vibrancy.. really great to talk to this pple... hai... sad to see that by a yr or so.. they will just change to become like the rest of the band (most)..

must really go back more often to help out.. cant let it die just like that... mm.


(dun even know why im writing such a post..)