i just remembered. no more school holidays! arghhhh

:)

okay, i am realising i sound kind of messed up, the latter few posts. hence the title, in case yall think i'm some real troubled nutcase.

ah well. i guess tmr would be a better day, back to routine.

anyway, i miss my elders.

it's really not easy just to earn that few bucks.

i really felt like screaming at her, and him, for how they are just treating the whole thing.

seriously?

postponing on me twice an hr before the lesson, and this current woohaa. being aslp at 11am when i came for lesson, only waking after i called them, after unsuccessfully trying the stupid doorbell and knocking the door for 5min?

oh and when i finished the lesson at 1230? still asleep and didnt even have the courtesy to wake up to arrange for another lesson properly.

what kind of parents are you people, to your child.

And having to take all that lying down, cause they are freaking paying ? thats the most teeth gnashing bit.

yea, i could tell them how they should reflect on what they are doing, and storm out of their house, refusing to teach their kid.

but really, would i?

i'm sorry, thats how desperate i am, just to save up.

you there

i'm tumbling back and forth between different emotions.

really hate that.


anyhow, freaking tired.

perpetually

and i prolly should be sleeping already. early day tmr again..

(i never ever seem to be able to sleep in, even on weekends, argh)

there's just so many things

do you know what is torment?

torment is being all cheery and happy when thats the last thing you want to be,

torment is acting like everything is alright when it never was,

torment is holding back when you really just want to get it out of you,

torment is behaving as if the person didnt matter when the person really did,

so painfully,

doing so.

~


in other news,

went with jom, kc, sk, and gw to botanical gardens for a picnic.

notes to self: have to find that awesome gardenia bread that kc recommended which was so awesome i can eat it by itself.

bumped into some german tourists wandering about the gardens, and being local friendly youths of singapore, (unlike the freaking irritating stereotypes that label youths to be uncouth, loud, illmannered, and oh-definitely-not-an-image-we-want-to-project-of-Sg), chitchatted with them abit about their country and recommended some places for them to visit in singapore. and we shared some food with them, which actually was some melted chocolate which was really unfortunate cause everything else was really awesome, pity we just happened to be finishing up the chocolate when we were chatting.

went to ccab to practice after that.

ouch. hands are real sore now.

there, till then, then.

(and i really ought to memorise the COG pieces asap.)

oh no. please, no.

come let's play.

uncle moneybags.

yes life's getting mundane.

had absolutely 0 practice today. yes. 0 hours put into individual practice. z

shall do some practicing at night. and some memorising of scores for the change of guard parade coming up soon.

Tuition at night. going thru the kid's papers.

i'm contemplating whether to do some random worksheet for him...

and the strings go twangg

swimming later. it's a nice hot day.

new directions

time to move on, change, start anew?

hurt

99.99

i'm used to ironing my clothes and all, but trying to iron that admin army wear to the tiptop precise standard is literally killing me...

half hour later and i'm still seeing little creases here and there. argh.

looks like i'm going to need to turn to the almighty Mother aka woman of the house aka superwoman for help.

MUMMMYYYY!!!!

(okay maybe not exactly like that, but yea, i'm gonna dial 911 CALL-YOUR-MUM hotline all the same...)

Gotta Be Somebody

a new found vigour.

i can do this

~

let's just say i got back that fervour to really live my life, with goals and aims.

we'll see how it goes.

xiang

i will miss you, grandpa, dearly

~

i saw his handphone, lying at the head of my bed, which was his for the past 5 months he stayed with us. it was switched off. its edges, a slight tinge of discolouration, and dust, unused since he was admitted into the hospital 7 nights ago.

7 nights, no, 5nights. and he breathed his last.

You Know What's My Problem? This Is My Problem

His blood pressure dropped dangerously low around 3pm. Doctors called for family members.

We stood waiting amidst tears and bated breath for an hour

blood pressure came up upon life support

condition's stable, yet not so.

~

my whole confidence is undermined by the harmonics of a block of metal bowl and plastic skin. it's better already, given it's inherent flaws, but i know i could have done better.

~

and I stared at the blue and white screen at the numbers before me, and at the little slip of paper that was produced from a slit at the top right corner.

~

and I had to make my own life so complicated, just so i could feel whole.

~

oh and guess what, i worry for my future too

~

and it really wouldnt kill for you to reply my question after i replied yours.

Critical

Please be alright.

BadDay

my right eye is recently amazingly dry. and thus i cannot wear contacts.

Since i dislike wearing spectacles. yea.

.

and it's really bad weather today. insanely hot and humid in the afternoon and crazy rain when i'm going home after work.

speaking of work. travelling is really, really, tiring.


.

well i guess there must be some kind of silver lining to every grey cloud, so yea, thank goodness for it.

.

i really just want this week to end.

tired, much.

Degeneration

there's so much i want to say, but so little i can put to words.

Tom Sally John

"my son is really bad at math!! very careless very careless!!!"

*flips through her son's maths file.

score: 97/100

me: "oh yes, very bad ... -_-"

Really, parents nowadays.

anyhow, the really tough bit about teaching primary sch tuition is not the content. but trying to make the kids understand the content, in their language.

"you like TV? yeah? spongebob? now imagine spongebob holding a gun and CROUCHING behind his pineapple house to get to squitwort. yeah? yeah? "

and here comes another week. as well as primary sch exams. please do well omg.

cats and dogs

i think teaching him is gonna be fun.

i think his parents are quite impressed at what i did. i think hahah.

hope it'll last long. i.e. $$$$ hahahaha

dinner with family.

turtle soup omg i cant wait i can smell it from here already.


plus kbox tonight with the sec sch awesome possum lower sec mates.

must get myself to swim tomorrow. hopefully it doesnt rain.

is,are,was,were

z.

my comp is screwed up again. and it's me. again.

okay here's the case. somehow sometimes, the freaking monitor doesnt come on when the cpu is turned on, so after my bro fiddled with the cpu and got it working, we decided not to switch off the comp and leave it at sleep mode.

but across the days, both of us occasionally restarted the comp or switched it off now and then.

and it just happened that i happen to be the unlucky one that restarts the comp today, and the FREAKING MONITOR DOESNT SWITCH ON AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

argh.

and. zj justcalled and i realised i totally forgotten about the mindcafe outing i'm supposed to have with my sec sch alumni band section today! shit i feel freaking horrible.

well on the plus side, i just got a new pri sch kid to teach for tuition, first lesson's tmr, downside prolly being i'll miss out on going back to mj band prac tmr..

and i just procured a very interesting piece of score from my bandmate. hah.


~

but the freaking monitor issue is really killing me here. zz

~

and i'm gonna start reading up on the pri sch math syllabus and the grammer thingy that english is basically much about in prisch...

whom,who. argh..

gibberish and heartsobs. melodies of life?

had been working on a song last year, stopped halfway.

i think now's a good time to continue where i left off. might as well. it seems appropriate.

~

aint no strength to continue. might

as well

finish it.

~

stabs, twists, pulls

repeat.

Oh Method of Movement, wherefore art thou?

Of Exuberant Esprits

The weather. Is amazingly hot.

even camping out at home the entire day is killing me.

it's like, being in a giant microwave.. (desperately tries to ignore the image of the dude exploding in a spray of blood and entrails in the microwave in Kickass)

other than the particularly interesting episodes of playing dota with my batchmate in band, who pulled his friend in, who apparently turned out to be my primary sch deskmate (you know, the one, usually of the opposite sex, who sits beside you in class), did some research online bout uni stuff, succeeded in tidying my table to respectable standards (my standards), did abit of nostalgia after digging out random pieces of paper and stuff from the nooks and crannies of my desk, and yes, did some reading too

In consideration of the fact that i would be starting to draft scholarship application materials as well as taking my SATs prolly year end, i reckon i'd better be constantly reading books and working that grey matter of mine. i think it's been rotting since the end of alvls.. you don't use alot of it where i'm at now.

right anyway.

It's a Darn Small World out there, was just chatting away with ben about this random comment made by his pri sch friend his newsfeed on fb. apparently i met the person in one of the meet the people's session i volunteered in last yr.. so yeah. small world..

haha

not surprising anyway, singapore is kinda small if you compare even with our closest neighbours..

okay anyway, i'm just gonna stop writing here. i'm getting something like a writer's block, only it's characterised by not only an utter lack of things to say, but also by the constant degradation of the standard of english as i type these very sentences. (which, is already pretty low as compared to my past years, i think)

right okay, enough with this demoralising crap, back to camp tomorrow, gonna stuff some ragtime exercises and pieces into my bag and see if i can squeeze some time out tmr to practice

currently very flustered and bothered about alot of things now.

SAT test dates, scholarship applications, research about some foreign universities.

that aside,

i cant find my marimba technique book.. i think it's still with somebody i cant remember who i lent it too zzzzzzz

and there's this stack of music scores at the side of table that is realyreally huge and i really should get about clearing it.

and iwant to swim. (yes i didnt swim on sunday -.-)

and. i think my phonebill's gonna explode this month. (braces self for outburst by the parents when they receive the bill)

and i think i have random spurts of OCD cause i'm staring at my desk now and moving every 10seconds to adjust some random object.

ugh.

relax, daniel, relax -_-

okay stuff to do in the afternoon:

pack that stack of scores
swim
read a nice book


yes.

/edit/

nooooo the nearby swimming complex is closed on mondays!! ARGH.

i really dont get it.

what is really more impt, bringing your elderly dad out for breakfast (his only few wishes, to have a proper breakfast with each of his children's families) or going to that place?


I know it's a weekly thing to go there, but really? That really does take priority over this?

i really don't get it.

and don't hide behind the dogma of unwavering faith and belief when its very core preaches the values of care and love, what more filial piety.

~


anyhow, introducing my baby cousin's blog :) she's now in australia with her parents and yes she is very, very cute :)

Baby Courtney

*melts.

Gotta Be Somebody

lesson 1) travelling via 89 to pasirris and then 17 to bedok is an absolutely dumb idea.

and 2) pasir ris sure has alot of traffic lights.


you know the feeling, where you're on the bus and up ahead is the green light and it's you know it's gonna make it thru the green light before it turns red....


and then someone flags the bus from the busstop in front of the traffic light. and you watch agonisingly as the bus slows down to a grinding halt beside the busstop..

(the traffic light is still green though)

and then the darned 'flagger' somehow grew a ton heavier getting up the bus. real slowly.

(the traffic light is still green though!)

and the driver revs up his engine.. and the bus lurches forward inch by inch, picking up speed...


only to come to a halt infront of the now red traffic light...


yes it's one of those facepalm teeth gnashing moments, esp if you're on a rush.

~

anyway, went for dinner with my junior college classmates and our form teacher.

one thing i love about these things, there's naturally food for discussion. who's where and who's what, how's everybody faring in our separate ways, just sitting together and catching up. awesome..

(and as usual the boys, erhem no, men will sit together and somehow all topics centralised to the one thing preoccupied in their minds now - armyarmyarmy)

went for an overnight movie after that at downtown.

kickass.

verdict:

haha amazingly even though my mates back in camp are all crying out how awesome it was, fighting scenes and all, felt rather okay only..oh. and gruesome much. (microwave scene is screwed up, seriously hahah)

alil' spoiler here.. note.

there was this part about the live webcast thing the baddies did of the 'superheroes', it was so weirdly coincidental with this book i'm reading now, another christopher brookmyre dry humour/epic crime/satire book, where this psychopathic murderer those stuff like live 'gameshows' to his victims and broadcasts them to the net.

it's kinda sick really, daniel i'm ashamed you're reading this kinda stuff....

that saying, the book's awesome :)

right.

today's gonna be spent pretty much sleeping since i only came back about an hour ago. and my eyes are amazingly dry from the contact lenses. urgh. feels like this permanent suction on my eyeballs... yet another compelling reason to undergo LASIK when i'm 21..

and.

a pimple sprouted overnight just below my mouth. sheesh. yes i know, at my age? sigh.


swimming and pyouth, and cousin's last dinner before enlistment tmr.

till then!

(scrimp and save daniel, scrimp and save!)

*draws imaginary banknotes with wings fluttering away from me.

argh.