drowning.

a multitude of affairs once more, threatening to drown me. again.

5more days. 4 more practices. as much as i dislike the aftermaths, of reaching home late at night absolutely exhausted and tired to do anything. the feeling that i have grown to developed this past yr really makes it hard to leave.

the last few practices together. its kind sad.. every single dinner and comm meeting marking down to our final journey before embarking on individual academic journies to success.
the last practices playing together as a section, laughing and high-ing together during sectionals in the cosy comfort of the aircon rm.

and heard of some issues of people not cherishing the moments and dwelling on the unhappy issues in their own little myopic world. they don't get it do they, yet they wanna think they do.. really perturbs me.

homework catching up with me. seriously gushing in from all directions.. 4elearning lectures and 4subjs worth of assignments to complete over the LONG weekend.

the longg weekend.

fri- band exchange 730-5
sat-band 9-5

go figure.

as i speak, a lit essay and an essayy outline is awaiting as the deadline states : tonight..

thank goodness it isnt 2359-ish deadline... tonight can be defined real loose-ly ya know..

and i'm tired with keeping it up. maybe it's time to come clean..

-

all in all,

i'm just exhausted.

urgh. buried in work.

band ended 830 what with meetings and all. chionged desperately to eat and reached home at 1030. yes 2hrs.. freaking jammed in the tpe for half hr due to some error in judgement by some random driver on the expressway who crashed into another car. hope he's alright though.

so yea

chem test - done (studied on the bus during the jam)
econs test
chem tut
maths tut
GP essay - done yes done! "is the majority always right?" - did myself justice there
econs case study
lit essay
lit electure - done yes!
lit essay outline (2)
lit analysis Iago - doneee...

at least i got four things done.

lets see if i can do more. i Have to slp by 2am or i'd be a sleeping zombie tmr.. yes i'm classified as a walking zombie tmr alr since i'm obviously slping past 12am, judging by the time of this post.

cheers.

absence

damn slpt late last night, wasnt really "absorb-ful" today :( at least i managed to keep awake for the lectures and keep up with the pace... all lecture today somemore zzz..

Suddenly had this urge to be picture-ful today with my handphone cam. so here goes..

econs lecture in the moment was.. -.- possibly because of some quest to save electricity the airconditioning of the lecture theatre was only switched on awhile after the lecture actually begun.


yup i was sitting at the far end of the lecture hall and directly under the 'airconditioning' which J was griping on abt how the vent is producing hot air instead...

so basically, a couple of guys opened the lecture doors behind us and left it open and some actually went out of the lecture hall and stood there till the aircon came on, i, personally went to the toilet :) . it was That hot... probably u'd be able to notice most of the people using their lecture notes to fan themselves and it was kinda hilarious.. in a sense.. not to the poor lecturer down there trying his best to lecture without fanning himself frantically though.

math tut next.. nthg much.. oh oh it started to rain. Woo~

maths lecture.. seriously don't get sampling!!.. it basically looked like symbols after symbols... and i thought things were gonna get easy after looking at normal distribution and poisson... -.-

and so..



nuff said..

oh. somehow.. it got really cold in the afternoon since there was rain and oh look! airconditioning in the classrooms.. -.- brrrr... remember the near heat wave in the morning in the lecture theatre... amazing isnt it?

and then.. off to the oh so favourite BANDDD..


after class


the connector to the amazing band room :)

welcome to bandgeek world.

practiced and talked.. (more of talking though..) before leaving for home...


i like my little walks home at night. lovely atmosphere for anything : chilling, emoing, contemplating. :) awesome

right. how that for a picture post? my first attempt.. and hell it's tiring uploading.. -.- hahah never again lol..

and oh.


rest well! :)


right. lotsa stuff to do.. CHIONGCHIONG!!! syf in 7 DAYS!! AHHHHHH

(note to self: mustmustmustmust sleep before 12 or i'd probably stone even more for tmr.. and not absorb anything !! )
oh and to bring thermometer tmr cuz of the stupid swine flu . zzzzzz

prays REALLY hard swine flu doesnt come to sg.

use my eyes to give electricity

epic i tell u epic.

go girls! HAHAHAHAHAHAHH ROFLMAO!!! LOL


(moronic spastic laughter.)

a few stuff.

my stint at MPS ended today. had a really great month there. really saw many things that i would never have seen.. learnt a great deal of information bout the little things that i would have never bothered to know. from the income bar ranges for application for HDB flats or rental flats to rules and regulations of providing a long term social pass for foreign workers... while i cant say i would be using all this information daily in school, it was definitely an experience and yea.. helping those people with their cases, deep down i really felt happy and warm.. the thank you that they give you, and maybe seeing them on the street and wondering how have they been since the time u met them, was the letter successful? and what of their condition now? really fulfiling job to do. yea the nights were tiring, and the day following it in school utterly horrible, but it was definitely worth it. Gonna be going back to the MPS sessions with stella during the june hols and after my Alvls :D

anyway, one thing i really felt during the sessions was how at that moment where they pour out their issues, u suddenly became their advisor, their guidance, and their hope. people were asking me abt how they should go about pursuing that certain education path, how the respective agencies would respond to their cases, the likelihood of their loans being delayed. and they wait expectantly for the answers from someone who may only know slightly more than them on those issues. but sometimes, we became the listening ears and the little advice we give became precious drops of diamonds to them, the gift of the listening ear and empathy.

oh more learning points to come. it was a gd platform for me to refine the techniques that i learnt from books i pored over the past year. how to respond effectively, how to ask the correct questions, how to "read" the person and above all, how to give sound advice.. and the writing. Really learnt a lot from the other writers there, how how to write the letter to present the best case using various angles of arguments and of picking out the plus points that would persuade the reader of the letter.. the writing itself, really an enriching experience. really beneficial i say :)

right enough rambling abt MPS alr

~

next: ranting.

people often say how jcs have really cheap school fees and all and how the students have it easy..

wonder if they ever realised how much we pay for our notes... just today i payed out $200 using the class fund for notes... and thats not a once in a blue moon basis... basically thats the amount that we usually pay regularly for a few sets of notes for the entire class.. its really scary...

:(

okay maybe not much of a rant. (cuz i'm feeling so saintly from the previous issue that i cant really bring myself to rant much)

~

sometimes i really think i'm abita hypocrite. saying stuff and ultimately not meaning it.. or at least i cant bring myself to mean it..

here we go again..

screw it.

more impt things in life.

bittersweet

band camp's over. damn i'm tired.

-

heard the recording of us and them.

in a sense i'm rather happy by pitting ourselves against them. but listening to ourselves.. truckloads to work upon.


-

again, another bittersweet feeling.

just one single event that brought every single high that came, crashing down again.

~

maybe i should just move on. stupid rollercoaster rides.

again i was disappointed

if my mind was an open bk, the world would be a much sadder place.

after a high comes a low.

sometimes i really wonder about trust. and how one can only hope to undo the things that one wishes never happened.

1) was leaving the lt but held a door open for 3 chem teachers to let them pass thru first. none of which even glanced at me as they walked past, let alone a simple nod of thanks. so much for role models of basic etiquette of manners.

2) you just had to mention how the other side don't "scold" you. well to put it simply, would u rather a person who scolds you and tell you ur mistakes or would u rather people who smile and act cheery and talk bout u behind your back? it's kinda hurtful that you said that. smile on my face aside, i seriously wanted nothing more to slash back a reply that i knew would have hurt ur feelings. but i learnt to hold my tongue many a time in my sec sch days.

3) you guys think sometimes i'm being fierce, strict and all, but i only wish for the better. when there's time to work we work, time to play we play but it really upsets me when i tell you guys something but nothing shows out.
i expect the best, cause i want to think the best of you guys. i'm happy most of the time, but i just get really upset too.

4) and i'm afraid to tell, once more. things are getting complicated

really jumbled-up thoughts now, no one i can really turn to. great.

Elated, excited, exuberant. whatever u call it.

Today was pretty much a great day :D

of course lessons were so so.. okay better than average i suppose.. lets run from the beginning

chem tut. yea well. chem tutorial.

er.

RECESS!

Lit - no teacher so the lit peeps chionged to the library. apparently we wanted to book the library discussion rooms but alas. we saw people in the rooms... so we decided to bookslots for mon and tue lit periods since they're gonna be free as well... oh guess what.. apparently the wednesday sheet was still on the first page and both the 2 groups of peeps using the room apparently wrote on the wrong sheet of paper... okay we're abit nasty here.. so we simply put our names on the proper date/timeslot.. and innocently proceed to tell them its our slot... ( Azrul did the dirty deed, not me nyahha.. my head was buried somewhere in the shelves hahah )

damn i feel so evil -.- anyway. it was like 950 when we were inside..

" okay we chiong lit work till 10 then we watch movie :D"

-25min later.

" OMG SHIT 1015!!!"

apparently we were so verbally debating over Iago's use of rhetoric strategies to fool everyone in Othello that we forgot the time... our lit teacher is gonna be Soooo proud of us hahaha.

econs lecture. decided to do that isolate myself technique and delve into my own little mugging sphere.. hahaha. by the time the lecture at trade patterns and elearning was meant to be done on sg's trade patterns, i had already finished the trade patterns and was nearing the start of the intricacies of protectionism MUahah :) awesome.. gonna save me some studying time over my very lacking weekend time.

chem lecture.. oh the only highlight.. u see apparently lt4 teaching pace was supposed to be slower than lt5.. but apparently we're 3pages ahead!!! woo~ hahah okay nothing to be high about... lol

maths tutorial.. i actually sat done and did dirty with normal distribution hahaha!!! so happy.. been long since i worked my grey matter over maths tutorials haha :D

COMPASS .. epic... issue : sex ed. topic: intimacy...
go figure... *pictures my CT desperately trying to be seriously in teaching the difference btw physical and emotional intimacy and all that stuff amongst a permanently laughing class..lol

commonlunch: Mr Lau performed at the library HAHAHAH.. kudos to the pitching!! no he wasnt off-pitchy at all lor!! really awesome performance. he CAN sing aaha. oh best part was the beginning where he did a vibrato of his vocal chords out of nervousness lol :)

GP : well yea GP is.. yea GP noneed explain haha

NEXT BAND!! ( THE MAIN HIGHLIGHT! )

Woo~

1) restringed gong :) with what is known as the hafidzah braids LOL (inside joke nvm)
2) wounded my first set of MALLETS!!! okay the first mallet was kinda disgusting.. 2nd one alot better :) gonna do more :D
3) :)

right. BAND TMR! looolll

nownow.. workwork hahah lit essay to tackle URGENTLY!

damn i realised i have yet to do the elearning modules on AYG volunteer -.- yes can u believe it.. elearning for something u volunteer. i.e. Service 101, cultural sensitivity yadayada... damm... it's been er a wk since they sent the mail.. i think i'm gonna do it by this wk -.- *notes to remind myself again.

right. extreme makeover pia-ing session part II tmr @ band rm :D and also work on my darn snare technique.. i swear its getting shabbier by day tsk..

oh mega malu incident..

was on the bus and i was plugging in my earpiece to listen to mcpc on my handphone... and apparently my earpiece wasnt plugged properly.. and i played the song...

(sounds of glorious beginning in mcpc fills the lower deck of bus 88.. )

the worst part is.. i think i only realised like 1 1/2 bars after the song was played... i was thinking eh why the sound like not coming from my earpiece into my ear.. -.-

great i just showed the whole bus the mega band geek -.- oh i saw some teens were grinning at the back.. i bet they are band members -.-

nvm hahaha..

right. work -.-

band crazy

bandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandbandband
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gosh. never felt so band-high before. even more than my sec sch days... gosh.

woots "band camp" this sat haha

another moment came crashing down before it begun. sian.

screw the ban. i have enough self control to restrict myself from chatting. just signed out from msn alr :)

~

oh btw hereby proclaiming i have effectively weaned off any addiction for dota. played a game over the weekend and i was like cant wait for the game to end cause its so damn xiannn...

lovely. :)

~

MPS session today was the most fruitful one i think. the guy whom i was working with gave me very detailed explanations of the differing cases that they normally see and yea REALLY helpful in compounding more knowledge over stuff...

note to self: useful for GP HAHAHAH

anyway. nxt wk marks my last wk at MPS.. maybe i'll return to volunteer again after SYF.. such a lovely place..

read the party mag they gave out today at MPS.. interesting contrast with the hammer i read a few days ago... no prizes for which mag is more interesting.

~

oh i know this sounds random but i love my section :D hHAHA

~

okay the urge to write it just came out... gonna miss them hell lot after syf..

~

right homework homework!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh and tsk somepeople sleep so early -.-
~

if only

oh time to reinstate my msn ban till this fri :)

( i know i will end up appearing offline roughly midwk, but somehow it reduces the amount of time i spend online everyday so yea :) )

pyouth - kow and lj didnt come. -_- extreme makeover done today. epic fail hahaha

*chucks aside virginia tate and pounces on extreme makeover...

watch me next sunday again :) gonna pia the part tues and thurs.

:) extreme makeover marimba solo is nice btw :)

~

Second Chance came on under shuffle mode on the way home just now.

made me think bout some stuff in the past..memories.. foolish moron i was...

nevertheless.. i still like that song :)

~

was really productive regarding my GP homework when i reached home.. spent 45min on it completing it reaaallly properly :) so darn happy.. and i decided to go online to chill for like a short while before starting on chem at 9pm..

started playing msn games and voila... 1010pm.. damnnn

the likes of hexic and reversi..
obviously it takes 2 hands to clap.. so for the other hand who clapped along for an entire hr.... opportunity cost of studying phy LOL (must attempt at some economics terms to appear intelligent.. as it appears i'm losing touch with my econs.. wheres my SLOMAN!!!


but all in all i find myself gradually getting weaker at the really content wise subj like chem and maths since those 2 requires alot more hardwork and lots of time for practice.. which i don't really have, or am effectively wasting away..

thank goodness lit and econs is still quite okay.. thought obviously MBTs don't really speak much for it..

but yea anyway.

no use complaining bout it..

must resolve to keep up with the daily work, if not barely, in light of SYF and chiong ahead like MAD after SYF...

alright its 15min alr. time to stop.

right chem.

oh and aldrick just reminded me of a certain econs essay outline we're supposed to do..

gee.

oh btw. i just found out the temperature on saturday was 35.5 deg...

no wonder i felt like a popsicle yesterday... literally.. i was melting most of the time.. -.-

ah. obtained a hammer mag from WP at hawker centre.

awesome read from the alternate perspective of the Other party. :)

Hammer ftw~ HAHAHA

Sometimes i just get really upset.

i try my best to tone down. but either way damned if you do, damned if you don't.

~

sometimes i don't know where i feel most comfortable in.

pressure on one side but it spurs me

attachment on the other, but the vibes i get just discourages me

i'm seriously lost.

ah the weekends.

but first, friday.

PE on the first period is seriously...

we did sprints and result = ache like MAD my thighs zz

purpose: to prepare us guys for the fateful NAPFA test upcoming in a week which pretty much determines whether u enter NS much MUCH earlier or not...

*prays for a silver.


(shuddup, i havent been exactly fit since a longggg time..)

anyway. band was tiring. as usual. and somehow we have begun to practice at the area outside the hall and the heat was making everyone cranky.

compile that with our not up to standard playing that day ( probably due to the unbelievable heat ), no suprising she was slightly more cranky than usual.

and freaking hell don't know whats wrong with me today.. off-form phssshh. oh but i finally was enlightened at a cerain part of overture regarding the flute and snare dialouge at J :) felt kinda pleased and a lil' ashamed i didnt understood what ms S was saying earlier when she said i was doing it wrongly... and i thought i was my rhythm.. zz.. anyway, since i figured it, thats gd :)

band ended at 530 today but since band usually ended at 830... hardworking me pushed the marimba to some ulu corner beside the hall: just me,the marimba and the wall. and pia virginia tate :)

finally got some fruitful practice after a long time. ought to do this much much more often.

nizam was going drama over how our reactions would be awaiting our syf results.

505 lesson ends, band members chiong to bandroom and huddle in a circle, with a single handphone on speaker mode.

"Meridian Junior College....."

*SCREAMS!!!!!

(oh shit we missed the result.)
*frantically calls the people at the TRCC to ask for the result...

which reminded me of the occasional zoning out i had in the morning.
i was picturing in my mind our reactions to our results and all...

ahhh too hard to put to words.. ( which reminds me that my writing is getting from bad to worse... i sense it.. zzz ) nvm..

and one more thing. we're performing for syf on wed. results are released on thurs and chem spa on fri.. how the hell we're gonna do this i have no idea..

we get GWH we wont be able to sleep that night. we get any other award (touch allthings wooden), we wont be able to sleep that night as well..

zz

and the lessons between the playing and the results..

*absentmindedly scribbles SYF X 100 times on lecture notes with drool on the lower lip and the mind embedded deep in the intricacies of macchu picchu.

yea you get the idea

right. band tmr at 9. YO at 230. freaking brahms wheee..

pressure.

but that's good. i'd work harder then. but yea it just makes things more draining, but thats fine.

peiyu's recital over. quite okay i reckon. maracas piece was FABULOUS.

one project down. a few more to go.

beethoven - done
abrsm 8 -done
peiyu's recital - done
MPS sessions
SYF
brahms
AYG performance
hindemeth
AYG volunteer


august.

but i can feel the load lightening already :)

comforting.

anyway, my stupid phone is bugging me more and more...
insane repeated "hangs" and "unable to send msg" options are pushing me to the pt of smashing it against the wall -.-

- Void -

it's exhausting, and i'm weary.

okay i'm still online. but at least i'm not msn-ing :)

keeping it short. must rush homework.

MPS session was fab as usual.. seriously i might consider staying on as a full time volunteer. the stuff i see and learn.. fantastic. had a chat with the MP after that which was yea.. insightful :)

~

people say i look kinda detached this few days... yea kind of. am feeling different this few days. but yea u'll see my old self popping out occasionally but still... yep its feels different too.

kbyework

okay. just decided. just being (away) on msn's gonna be useless... i'll still blog though. maybe not. we'll see.

signing out for the last time till 17th, (hopefully)

SEE Y'ALL 17th APRIL!

i'll still blog though. maybe not. we'll see.

signing out for the last time till 17th, (hopefully)

being quite a lazy bum today.

pyouth practice was one of the more awesome ones today.the music that was played.. hahahah nicenicenice :) but smthg happened b4 the prac started that made me feel rather irked.. of egos, attitudes and stuff. so what if u're !&#$%... -.- or maybe i'm just thinking too much..

anyhow, went with kow n pohyih to eat that fabulous chicken cutlet rice which was only $2 after prac...

and i thought i was gonna save money ... ended up eating 2 plates of it... arghh

MAYO CHICKEN CUTLET woots~

oh did NS registration this morning which took darn long to do (security qn LOL)-.- don't ask.. hahah

and i think i edited my education profile wrongly.. AND submitted it.. zz

(reminder to send in documents for verification asap) -> after i get my lazy bum to move.

OhAh on the way home realised that i was missing out on doing a lot of productive stuff just by being on msn.. which i'm using more often than i'm studying.. which IS definitely a bad thing..

time to cut down that msn usage.... well for starters maybe it's gonna be put as (away) more often to discourage myself from randomly going to crap with people..

and oh crap. (don't ask me why, i just felt like saying that.)

maybe i ought to just give up. __ doesnt seem to realise. but, oh well...

bandd today :)


ms s was in a gd mood hahah. = thing's are good.
ms a came back to teach us = things were way better than we expected.

i worked out the first 2 pages of virginia.. woots :)

spent the evening after sch at bk with exco meeting.. and then crapped with the remaining peeps till 9pm at kfc.. lol talking bout past sch life haha

nostalgia rocks
;)


pyouth tmr :)

to sign up for NS TMR!!!!!!

lol and finish up thermo tutorial AND maths binomial poisson distribuition...
argh.

i hate not being able to sms and call anybody cuz i maxed out my free outgoings and msges :(

1 more day.

just finished packing my HUGE STACK of scores on the left side of my table...

found lots of delicious looking scores i'm just tempting to try out and some loose pieces here and there...


and into the bin went many of the scores i have amassed over god knows when.. symphonic beatles... binned... coral sea... binned... u get the idea..


extracted some scores for safekeeping.. stuff that are worth practicing every now and then... i.e. scherezade and william tell cymbals part!! muahahah


also packed some of the random scores which i have been bringing around me here and then..

raindance
yellow after the rain
bach cello suite
and others..

time to shelve those songs and move on to newer stuffs already..

and into my new set of scores to practice:

March ( Timpani )
Douze Etudes ( Snare )
Czardas ( 2 mallet marimba )
Gordon's bicycle ( 4 mallets )
Virginia Tate ( 4 mallets )


oh i cant wait teehee~ :D

and damn i forgot to sign up for the NS thingy today.. must do so tmr grr.

right band 9-5 tmr !!! whee~ (opportunity to work virginia tate!!!!)

hahahahah


right. oh yes. reminder to start revising my excerpts.. must get ready for auditions liao.. ahhhh..

k bye :D

Hopefully i can reach out to you people reading this.

Catherine Genovese, the young woman who was stabbed to death in the parking lot in front of her building while reportedly 38 onlookers/witnesses did nothing to help - either thinking it was a lover’s quarrel, a drunken scuffle, prank by kids, etc, even though she screamed, “Oh my God! He stabbed me! Help me!” One phone call was made, but never acted on by the police in time - the severity of the situation failed to be reported by the caller, who thought the young woman was just beaten up, not stabbed. -1964

the evidence of what society as become. not the degeneration of the moral of the individual. but the lack thereof as a group.

People call it urban depersonalisation or megalopolitian societal behavior, but it basically boils down to one thing: the dangers of social proof.


2 reasons:

the perhaps someone has done it reasoning:

with the presence of all that potential passerbys, the personal responsibility of each indiviual is reduced. so since everyone thinks someone would have already helped, no one does.

the pluralistic ignorance effect:

this one is basically the main source this kinda shit. imagine a hypothetical solution. Is the man lying in the alley a heart-attack victim or a drunk sleeping one off? The commotion next door, an assault or just another loud marital spat? don't know. natural tendency is to look around.. thats where the problem lies. everyone is doing exactly the same thing. so since we all prefer to appear poised and unflustered among others, we are likely to search for that evidence placidly.. and since everyone else is gonna act the same way. result? stationary morons bounded by the principle of social proof.

and hence the : old person on train, no one acts. = people will give seat la, i wont need to stand up..

yada yada.

so yea, see anything out of ordinary, Act. embarassment is of the last priority if something like the human life is of concern...

i know some of you may be thinking, it's none of my business anyway... so why bother knowing it?

well what happens if it's You in the scenario..

right, if that happens to you basically, do NOT appeal in the general direction for help. chances are, you'll just get another group of passerbys literally serving their function: passing by.

while calling HELP may draw attention. most probably it stops there. so yea.

call out and isolate any individual for help. by doing so, you dispell any uncertainty on the part of that stranger and bring out that innate individual concern from that veneer of societal apathy.

the effect. one person steps up to help. more will follow. social effect again. but used to Your advantage.
..

okay i dunno why i'm suddenly saying this on the blog.. but i guess reading bout it really made me feel as if something ought to be done.. at least more people know about such a thing as social proof and its dastardly effects and how it can be used to help yourselves..

and let's hope that no more would a Catherine Genovese incident happen in our country.

~

hell i love reading such books.. social science= awesome :)

~

hmm good friday so far has been pretty gd...

went to airport to send mum off to hongkong, half way thru psychology of persuasion, doing up thermo tutorial and the organic mcq later, went thru abit of othello in the morning.. maybe i'll do some maths at night :)

fruitful.

ARgh. my entire inbox account DIED!!..


After using the hotmail account since pri 5... one fine day apparently i never had a hotmail msn live passport... which means i have no inbox no sent items no deleted items... no nothing...
ARGH


oh MJC TOPPED PW !!! WOOTS~

the someone

Someone, who knew, who i really was,

beneath everything.

Someone, who knew me,

truly,

and accept me for who i really am.

Someone who cared,

to know how i was.

when i'm down

Someone, to talk to, through that tiny hole at the corner of my phone,

and accompany me,

as i walk home in the lonely night.


~

someone.

~

i got an A for PW. Cheers :)

-finished "7habits". next up, psychology of persuasion.
-failed chem quiz. need to get my concepts right over the wkend.
-start thinking of ways to sort out my mess coming thursday.
-stop being so hyper-ly emo at night. aft reaching home.
- pah.

( i feel my posts are getting crappier by the day -.- , some kinda writer's block, no wait more like some kinda writer's pithole... )

seem to think of stories now and then to write abt ( practicing my descriptive writing skills over something fictional...) but i seem to stop bothering to develop the idea further after awhile and end up not putting down here... pure laziness fuels it too i guess.. :(

oh well.

i know its ironic, but... gosh things are starting to get all clashed up again..

band pracs. recitals.TM session. BANG.

zz

C

for one i've suddenly got nthg to blog abt...

nvm..

oh cchs got silver. :) still darn proud of them.

C.Y

USU

my 3H2s. there u go.

.

Nice Everlast Shoes. Haha. epic fail at lying :P

~

oh 7 habits of highly ineffective people. awesome.. have i said that in the previous post?

really got damn inspired reading it HAHA time to put it into action..


"put more clutter in your life. the more, the better" :)

i love it.

but beneath all that witty overtones, i could see where the author is coming at.. just basically being yourself and who u really are. no point faking away and stuff..

yea anyway started feeling really "rebellious" and stuff haha. at 1020 at night. i bought milk tea with extra tea :)

and basically i was singing and spinning randomly on my way home from the mrt HAHAHA

and damn however much energy i wasted doing that, i actually felt so happy.
i had it going then. but i was miserable, most of the time.

give me happiness anyday :)

~


oh one of the reasons i hate being SL sometimes. having to make cruel decisions bound to make people dislike me. ish...

note to self from previous night. not to sleep later than 1230 cause the next day's gonna be terrible..

first 2 lessons were just.. (argh I NEED SLEEP..) u get the idea.

anyway, got back my econs result... on a brighter note, lets just say i got third in class.. and no i'm not gonna tell u guys my results..

oh alright. U. <<<< my first U in mj gosh zzzzz

anyway, got back lit . E... pretty disappointed yea.. but still quite okay..

now's left maths.. at least let my pass ONE H2? though i don't have that high a hope for math..

nvm. moving on.

had sectionals today and of course, the unveiling of who plays what part for syf.. and since there's an 80 people cap for syf.. yea.. i hate telling people they're not playing for syf.. so R did the dirty job when telling A.. but just looking at her face was kinda sian alr. well not she doesnt have a chance though. u may never know..

right. somehow i finished sectionals at 630 reached home at 715 left house at 725 in a manical rush to reach buangkok at 740 for the meet the people's session cuz i was damn determined not to be late. - and missed dinner in the process..

but hell it was worth it..

i saw.

a wife on verge of divorce with an unsupportive husband who was permanently missing
a man who wanted nothing more than to marry his viet bride who had his child
a confused man over the consfication of his COE
an unsettled man over his parking summons.

lol

seriously it was DAMN INTERESTING.

was damn lucky to be placed outside with the others to note down their problems and write their letters for them.. talked to some of these people.. really interesting lives i met today.

and the people who were "working" there as well.. all walks. my mentor was an NS policeman hahaah...

"night shift was shaggg mannn!!!!" epic. hahah

oh there were 4volunteers from HCJC and 1 from RI.

interesting peeps and HEY one of them was my PRIMARY SCH CLASSMATE WTH.. could recognize her immediately can... my deskmate HAHAHAHAh..

such a small world oh.

yup so looking forward to next week.. hopefully i'll get to handle my own cases then??? :D

oh wait this one is epic.. they had beehoon and currypuff and red bean soup for desserts !! HAHAHAAH~ (my starved stomach thanks them greatfully, it said.)

well the only downside is it ended 1130.. plus side being i took a nice 20min leisure walk home from buangkok to sengkang in the cool darkness of night damn i love walking around at night.. totally beats the omg-its-so-freaking-hot-why-the-hell-am-i-walking-in-the-sun kinda walks :D

~

i'm still head over heels over you-know-who.. sigh.

if only...

~


gahhh stop thinking. start doing work #(@#(*%&@#*(....

finished brainsex muaha.

and ooh look what i found HAHAHA

Brain sex profile test courtesy of BBC


gosh i feel so knowledgeable after reading the book. i can actually explain and understand the test results LOL.

someone make me a psychologist ! :D

i'm almost done with brainsex. gd stuff :) goona start on my 7 habits of highly ineffective people soon! :D

oh after much thought i finally got a planner made for myself :) plotted out till day of SYF !

nows the filling up bit.. currently its a tad sparsely populated.

pretty pleased with myself. realised i actually have a few days here and there with nothing on at nights :) which means i can actually go home and study!! :D

yay~

but i've this feeling its gonna be filled up soon enough -.- with soon to begin extra band pracs and what nots. but i'm not complaining. SYF!!! :D

right meet-the-pple session tmr. excited. gonna be an interesting experience..


oh and i just found out i have a CV to compile as well as 2 application essays to complete -.-

pyouth's fun. but the numbers are pathetic... clarinet = 5.... wth.

busybusybusybusybusy

busy. damn busy. this month.

Schoolwork.
Revision.
Reading my lovely library books. (brainsex LOL)
Mj band pracs for SYF
Sectionals with mj perc
mj exco stuff ( syf cum planning for new exco )
brahms concert ( thank god its going for a break soon )
hindemeth concert ( break )
peiyu's recital
philyouth
lessons with mr lim.
meet the people's session start.
oh and practicing for the stuff above.
TM sessions
AYG volunteer stints ( lucky its after SYF... )

= tiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtiredtired

(actually typed the frequency per week out so that i can actually see the insanity of the situation. but i'll spare u guys.)

now where's that dailyplannerbook of mine...

but still.

CHIONG ARH!!!!

SYF WOO~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!



sidenote:

remind me not to take up anymore projects from now onwards.. zz.. no more randomly agreeing to play for more concerts/recitals.. stop signing up for volunteer projects.. and stop going out with friends too much. ( wait i no longer do go out purely for leisure purposes. zz.. )

okay. tired = sleep = energy for busy day tmr.

wait it's already tmr.

great.

i'd be perfectly composed.

i'm catching the syf fever. so are most of the band peeps -.- hhahah

features:

-goes to bandfusion religiously everyday for updates.

-discuss intensely over the medal patterns for the day.

-sigh/exclaim about different bands getting the different awards which arent even their alma mater's

-calls friends live at TRCC and plaster themselves to the phone to listen to the poor audio giving them the Live performance

-actually reads bandfusion forums for random threads which they Dont normally do.

-starts to randomly sing their syf choice pieces and set pieces

yup fulfilled all of them.

HAHAHA syf fever yay!!!!

~

dilemma encountered again today. ahh. better tread lightly around the big boss sitting beside the harmony director for the next few practices.

~

encounter: made me think. about stuff.

(yes its meant to be vague..)


syfo reh in the morning followed by yo reh in the aft followed by granddads birthday at night

damn i need to cut my 'wild grass' hair..

:(

wait no

:) lots of things to be happy for :)

right. getting that whole chunk of stuff outta my head was kinda neat.

as said borrowed 2 bks from the library just now.

brainsex and 7 habits of highly INEFFECTIVE people HAHAH


makes for better understanding of myself i say, so why not :) about time to start reading again.

and oh reh today was kinda awesome in a way too.

for one, brahms is a whole new sphere for me to venture into after dealing with that of beethovens. note to self to consult tutor about the some of the aspects of his music. oh i kinda screwed up third mvmt pretty badly but oh well, cant be helped. just gotta work harder.

and golly second round of mcpc tmr $@#)%*(@&)...

oh did i mention that music is such a wonderful thing to drown yourself in and take a break from all your troubles? awesome stuff :)

right that was random.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

damn. if only you knew. and that i knew you knew.

breakthrough

the past few wks from prior the march block tests have been pretty much an emotional rollercoaster ride for me in case you guys havent realised. with things just happening that were beyong my control, different emotions swirling within me and threatening to engulf me at any one time.

i tried facing them, shelving them aside, addressing them, avoiding them, challenge them, ignore them. and it was just there.

of the emotions i felt with the many things in life going on : Studies, Music, Friends, Love, and some other issues.


~

i'm glad i have reached a point of peace though. of a certain sense of tranquility today.

it all happened today. of a certain lecture that led me to reflect on the state of my studies. how i resolved to read up myself on the topic instead of being bound by the pace of the lecture. and how i realised i ought to do the same with the restrictions i had placed upon myself. of chucking away all those excuses about how i'm tired and i have no time and start properly doing something.

followed by a certain lesson, that led me to think abt my recent results, of how i could change it, if only i started to go back to being truly active instead of that superficially engaging idiot i had been.

of the sudden impulse to head down to the library to borrow certain books that were of topics that i was once very interested about. of the sense to actually improve my life.

of the little discourse with someone on the way to bandrm after school, that led me to openly accept who i truly am, and of the consuming dedication i felt growing towards my committments.

of a moment of self reflection after a certain encounter to let things be. of how i once launched into a diatribe over a simple title of "Let It Be" when the truth is that there are somethings that you truly have to just let it be, instead of insisting on fighting against the flow.

of getting of the bus in time for my exchange bus to come at that precise moment. of realising the little joyful things in life that i have recently failed to notice and appreciate.

of the rehearsal that spurred me into working harder, and of achieving greater heights. to grow and to mature musically, and also as a person. and of the unfailing trust that he had of me, and how i am determined to prove him right.

of my dad, waiting to fetch me home today, of the strong silent support that my family had for me, that i failed to truly appreciate

of my friends, whom had provided me with encouragement, support, and concern at any one time throughout my various messed up phases this few weeks.

and @.

~

how could i have ever been sad in the first place?

time to pick up the pieces i carelessly dropped.

and for once properly taking up the challenges that i'm facing, something i havent done since the beginning of the year.

thankyou for witnessing that change within me.

mark my words.

forget it. i'm slping on it.

it's still bothering me. fuck

okay now i feel even crappier.

sorry

W

got posted to group W. don't ask me how i feel. its abt the same as punching ur fists against the wall which just wouldnt break.

got back my total GP score as well. you cant just look at the grade on its own and judge how well it went.

imagine a poor farmer given a bag of coins. compare that to a merchant given the same bag of coins.

go figure.

i might be expecting too high? but i don't think i am. not at all.

so there.

~

band was okay today. but i doubt my first attempt at mcpc went well.. was kinda screwed.

and yes. our sound is getting too big it seems like the darn band room is gonna explode or smthg.

~

this is tiring. i need to see some light again.

~

some hope perhaps.